CAN I SAY (WITH ANY MEANING)
THAT WHEN I'M WITH THE GURU,
THERE'S NOBODY HOME ? OR :
THAT I LOVE HIM SO THOROUGHLY
THAT I WOULD DO ANYTHING
HE WOULD EVER ASK OF ME AND
THE HIGHEST THING I COULD THINK OF
IS BEING AT HIS FEET AND
AT THE SAME MOMENT
I DON'T CARE IF I NEVER SEE HIM
AGAIN IN THIS LIFE ? CAN I SAY THAT ?
CAN I SAY THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
SPECIAL ABOUT HIM ? HE'S JUST A LITTLE
OLD MAN WITH A BLANKET ? CAN I SAY
HE'S RIGHT HERE NOW ?
WHICH ONE ARE YOU READY TO HEAR ?
WHEN I WAS AROUND NIMKAROLEE, THERE WAS ALWAYS A CONSTANT STREAM OF DEVOTEES WHO HAVE MUCH REVERENCE (vishwas) BUT NOT TOO MUCH FAITH (shraddha). AND THEY WERE ALWAYS ASKING HIM FOR MIRACLES, OR TO GET THEM A JOB, OR THEY WANTED TO USE HIS DIVINATORY POWERS AND TELL THEM ABOUT THEIR FUTURE.
AND THEN WHEN HE WOULD ASK ME WHAT IT WAS I WANTED, I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING. I JUST FELT HE WAS INSIDE OF ME.
HOW DO YOU ASK YOUR INNER SELF FOR SOMETHING ? YOU ARE ALREADY IT. WHAT IS IT THAT YOU COULD GIVE TO YOURSELF ? GIVE YOURSELF PRESENTS ? IT'S ALL WRONG.
AT FIRST I DIDN'T TRUST IT, SO I'D HAVE TO COME INTO HIS PRESENCE AND THE MINUTE I'D GET THERE I'D FEEL... YEAH... AND I'D LOOK AT HIM AND MY EYES WOULD GET ALL SWIMMING WITH TEARS AND I'D JUST LAUGH AND I'LL FEEL SILLY.
I WOULD REALLY BE SILLY. (IT'S HARD TO GET ME SPEECHLESS)
